My Year in Post-it Notes

Each year I look back at the past year and think about what I want for the year ahead, making a list of dreams and goals. Then I edit ruthlessly, a skill I’ve learned slowly over time, because having an ambitious list of 30 things does not guarantee that I’ll get them all done. In fact, it pretty much guarantees none of them will happen.

The process usually begins shortly before New Year’s Eve and wraps up mid-January, when I start to get a clearer picture about what really matters. And then, of course, over the year, life happens so I leave space and self-compassion to adjust my glorious plans as needed.

I loved 2017. It was a year of adventure -- full of firsts, unexpected twists and turns and never ending ups and downs. The year rumbled with laughter, was sprinkled with creativity and warmed by friends and family. The happiest words I know are "I have enough."

I enter 2018 with a very full heart, a slightly emptier wallet, and much anticipation for the year ahead. Because there were some uncertainities regarding next gig in Chile over the holiday season, I felt like I stumbled into 2018 far less gracefully than I had expected. A stark contrast to how I approached 2017, the first year of my soul sabbatical.
 
But since it’s the reflective season, I started digging through past journals and to-do lists, taking stock of what has changed – and what hasn’t – as I thought about where I ended up at the end of the year and what I hoped would come next as 2018 unfolded. A little surprise emerged as I flipped through many the pages: I had a collection of post-it notes messages to myself that give a little glimpse into my learnings from 2017 to help me settle into 2018 with grit, grace and gratitude.

If you've ever been to my apartment, the post-it collage will be familiar. It's my life plan for the year.

My planning format for the past three years has focused on three key areas:

1. The list of habits I’m focused on building that year 
2. The things I want learning or experience 
3. The places I want to travel 

And since I am personally responsible for keeping 3M in business, I write them up on post-its and have them on display in my house to keep them front and centre in my thinking. Generally, the theme for the year stays steady but some post-its will inenvitably fall to the wayside and others get carried over into the new year because I was a little ambitious in my goals.

I also have a quirky life-hack of leaving post-its around my house as little reminders, switching up their locations and messages so that my brain never stops "seeing" them. Most notoriously is the one in my bathroom that says "Do you want teeth when you are old? FLOSS."  Others hide in kitchen cabinet or on the bedside table. These ones tend reflect current challenges and learning edges.

Here are a few of the post-its that help tell the story of 2017 and what I was learning and the areas I was trying to grow into.

​This my bathroom mirror in Sligo shortly after I arrived and was feeling a bit lonely. I put this one up to remind me of the wonderful people supporting me on this journey at home in Vancouver... and as I'd soon learn, all around the world as well.

​I put this one on my nightstand in mid-April when my first attempt at organizing Job #2 went belly up.  Life is kind of like bull-riding - the most successful riders lean into the bull and move with it, which prevents them from being tossed. And this was my daily reminder that being stressed and worried wasn't actually going to solve anything! 

It's a bit hard to read in this photo but the post-it says "the universe is there for me, not against me."  A great hippy-wo-wo message if I've ever read one. 

Leaning into uncertainty and ambiguity defined 2017. Ambiguous is a word that sounds just like it feels: ambiguous. The word even sounds wobbly,  fuzzy,  and kind of unsure of itself. And that's how I felt a lot of this year -- totally committed to the vision of my "soul sabbatical" and yet simultaneously unsettled, slightly unnerved,   waiting for the unknown and holding space for the unexpected.

This is the first draft of my first quotable saying.
Over time, it evolved to read "You are living life in your own time zone. Trust that you are on time." Midway through my sabbatical I became acutely aware of the "traditional life goals" (like marriage, babies, houses) that I wasn't yet meeting and this reminded me that I'm on my own path and I'll get there when it was right for me if it was meant to be.

When I look at this post-it, part of me thinks "No Shit Sherlock" and is a bit embarrassed to admit that I had to write this down. But truthfully, it's tempting to forget we have agency in any situation. Blame is just so easy. But if something wasn't working, I wanted to take action,

After all, I believe happiness is a choice. Need some inspiration, see this Mo Gawdat's clip that I love.

In July, I was convinced my sabbatical was going to fall apart and I had this deep, dull sense that I had failed. When I started looking at that potential future as a learning experience - an exercise in data collection if you will - it eased the pressure. This space gave me a better perspective on when to pivot instead of persevere because it was no longer about failing but about learning. Good lesson for life!

I borrowed these values from Easkey Britton's Surf and Social Good workshop. As I think more about how I wanted to show up in the world and where I have stumbled in the past, these three words seem like really great values to hold tightly.

​So what were my insights from all this post-it propaganda? 

Obviously, the biggest learning from 2017 was about the ever-expanding edges of my own resilience. Every experience echoed it. Don't be fooled and think it was easy or that I have some unique cosmic gift... If we imagine each post-it note to be an artifact of an archaeological dig helping us discover what life was like, I think we'd all conclude that I had to constantly remind myself what I could handle.

This biggest surprise of the year was how my own little meagre story of adventure offered inspiration to others about what is possible. I have never anticipated that my journey would have such an impact on the people I met along the way. In fact, inspiring others was never part of the vision, and honestly, it makes me a little uncomfortable since it feels so trivial in the big picture. Who am I to inspire after all? I'm a privileged kid, lucky to have a good education and safety net ready to care for when I stumble.  (Side note: A wise woman challenged me to redefine my definition humility in 2018 so I'm trying to find ways to reframe my fear of being a tall poppy that might cast a shadow on others.. but that's another year's lesson).

While I'd currently describe 2018 as a gawky and fumbling foal, these little messages give me a  bit more confidence that 2018 will be bolting out of the barn with all the majesty of a mare in no time at all. But for now, its one foot in front of the other and I'll begin the way I always do - finalizing my list of habits to develop, things to learn and places I aim to explore in 2018.

"Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters of our lives won't have titles until much later." - Bobb Goff

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